I’m now most of the way through Lent. By and large I’m doing fine. Many nights I don’t miss alcohol, or lately, even think about it. Even so, there continue to be moments of insight and occasionally, of struggle. Here they are in no particular order:
- Weeknights are generally fine, except as noted last time, if it has been a long and stressful day.
- It is becoming clearer to me that another facet of why I drink is that it is simply something to keep me occupied- or for lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, it is simply something to do. Therefore, not being able to do it leaves me feeling itchy from time to time. It’s not because I crave the alcohol but because I have to find something else to do with my down time.
- Friday and Saturday nights are still difficult. I suspect this is because this is when the habit is still most ingrained… to kick back and relax at the end of the week. But this is also combined with the fact that this is when my wife will also tend to have a drink or two and, it is nice to join her in that.
- Being sober when others are drinking is still a fairly novel experience. I’ve done it before, even going so far as to attend a beer tasting at which I didn’t drink. One recent Friday night I went out with friends. While it was somewhat tempting to give in to the inky lusciousness of Celebrator on tap, I managed to do just fine with my seltzer and lime. My companions indulged in tasty offerings from Greenman and Victory as well as a Bluecoat and tonic. As our conversation continued into the 2nd round I couldn’t help but notice that they became a little more animated and excited. Volumes rose accordingly and occasionally folks would even talk over one another. Of course, it was all perfectly enjoyable not to mention in keeping with a bar on Friday night. But as someone who is prone to being loud and animated anyway, it makes me wonder just how much more pronounced that must be when I get two drinks into a conversation?
I am glad to be in the final week and look forward to sharing some final observations with you next week
Keep those prayers coming